IMG_5668HAPPINESS IS A STATE OF MIND. 

Mike was talking to me last week and said to me “You’re my happiness”.  I turned to him and said “No one can be your happiness, Happiness is a state of mind within yourself.”  I continued to explain that relationships add to our happiness but cannot be the source of our happiness. 

To truly be happy we must love our self in all aspects.  What does that mean?  It means being honest with yourself and doing the best you can.  Knowing you are enough as well as never belittling or making yourself wrong.  Being very compassionate with yourself and forgiving any shortcomings Realizing this life is a journey of gaining wisdom and what we may view as mistakes are just gaining knowledge. 

 Knowing that when something doesn’t feel good we ask why? And go within to find the answer. Is it an untruth that we held as a belief?  Where did it come from?  When we learn to question our beliefs we begin to realize that sometimes we believe some one else’s truth.  For example: a playmate who teased us when we were young or an adult who had a tormented belief that we accepted as truth. 

 When we start questioning how we got our beliefs we separate what is truth from what isn’t.  It also allows us to start listening to our heart/ soul instead of our ego/ mind.  From this place we can start loving, being compassionate and non judgmental with ourselves. When we can see us as a young child going through life learning and growing into our best self.  You would never get mad at a child who falls learning to walk, that is the process.  And yet we constantly put our self’s down for our shortcomings and imperfections.  Our journey is not about perfection but accepting our imperfect imperfection.

 Well if you haven’t noticed by now…. The human condition is about making mistakes, being fearful and learning lessons.  As we grow in compassion, trust, and wisdom we not only gain knowledge but self-confidence.  This allows us to conquer fear and forge ahead.  Surrendering to a greater force that breathes us and has our back.  Walking in trust and knowing that what we need will present it self in perfect timing and when it doesn’t fall in our timeline there is a reason or growth process that needs to take place for us to get to our next step. 

 Once we have learned to love our self, know we are enough and realize we are supported by the infinite we will learn to live from a different place in our hearts. Self love is HONORING and RESPECTING our own needs first.  We have been programmed to believe that putting our self first is selfish and wrong.  The truth is that we cannot give what we are not full of.  So when we honor our self through self love we are:  Giving others permission to do the same, Filling our self with pure love, compassion, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and attention.  As we fill our self with these wonderful treasures we can give them freely to others.  And you know the old saying, as you give you shall receive.  The key is giving to ones self first.  Once you have accomplished this you will be in compassion and non-judgment with yourself and others and you will begin to live from your heart space, which will only allow you to live in your truth and from love. 

 You will notice you will begin to follow your heart in making decisions, you will begin to do things that bring you joy and cut out of your life things that do not.  You will make simple changes and better decisions that will create your life by your design.  All this will bring happiness into your heart and soul. 

 You will have transformed your state of mind into one of happiness and bliss and this will resonate through you to others.  So by loving yourself you will transform not only your world but the world itself.  Enjoy the journey.

 With Love and Compassion,

Bernadette